Effective immediately, WhosPlayin Communications, Inc. announces layoffs of 46,000 employees from our local blogging division. This cost-cutting move is expected to save the company up to $42.38 a year. Employees, who were waiting on a weather cancellation notice this morning, were notified via robocall not to show up for work. The company followed the robocall with an email, which is excerpted below:
Dear Former Employees: We just wanted to take this opportunity to send you bloodsucking parasites one final "fuck you" while your free email accounts still work. When I asked you ungrateful bastards to help me polish up the corporate jet, many of you bitched and moaned about not having enough "family time". When we moved our corporate headquarters to the Cayman Islands, we offered you incompetent boobs free round-trip airfare to anyone willing to smuggle large bundles of cash in their carry-on luggage.
We would talk about how much we regret the layoffs, but frankly, we can outsource your jobs to India and save enough money to buy a new corporate yacht AND pay for our "Read Local Bloggers" marketing blitz.
In closing, smell ya later, bitches. We'll be posting a form letter-of-recommendation later, that you can download and fill out for yourself, if you think it will do you any good. TTYN. Signed Dick S. Over, President
Mr. Over could not be reached for comment because... well, we just didn't give a crap. Suckit, Over.
Denton County Democratic Party presents its ANNUAL CHILI SUPPER
When: Saturday, January 31, 2009 from 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Cost: Only $15.00 per person (Cheap!) Where: Center for the Visual Arts 400 East Hickory Street, Denton At the corner of E. Hickory and Bell Ave.
What: Join area Democrats for fun and fellowship. Each year volunteers supply the chili, beans, cornbread and brownies for this great event.
TARP reform passed the House of Representatives, despite the attempts of the Republican caucus, including our local Rep, Michael Burgess. The following is the CRS Summary. I guess Republicans instinctively vote against anything that makes corporations accountable for what they get from government. I'll bet the lobbyists appreciate the Republican support.
H.R.384 Title: To reform the Troubled Assets Relief Program of the Secretary of the Treasury and ensure accountability under such Program. Sponsor: Rep Frank, Barney [MA-4] (introduced 1/9/2009) Cosponsors (None) Related Bills: H.RES.53, H.RES.62 Latest Major Action: 1/22/2009 Referred to Senate committee. Status: Received in the Senate and Read twice and referred to the Committee on Finance.SUMMARY AS OF: 1/9/2009--Introduced.
TARP Reform and Accountability Act of 2009 - Amends the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 (EESA) to direct the Secretary of the Treasury to require specified depository institutions under the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) to report periodically on their use of TARP assistance.