An internet friend of mine forwards all things amusing and fun on to me and I of course keep it moving. Steve suggusted I share this one.
So, my fellow democrats this one is for laughs and no thinking required. To balance this I may have to write a nasty blog about Wal-Mart, so easy to do these days. Please try a few of these to break up the monotomy of shopping.
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart. Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least. 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here."
I'm sure many of you have seen the email that has been making the rounds titled "Why Men Vote Republican."
So in the interest of fairness, I submit a response that shows why they should prefer Democrats.
Let's start with the Lovely Ladies of Stage and Screen. Below, note that all four of the women from "Sex in the City" are Democrats. In fact, I noticed that Sarah Jessica Parker was in the audience with her husband Matthew Brodrick at the 2004 Democratic National Convention.
Next we move on to the ladies of Rock and Roll. This should give those guys "Somethin' to talk about."
Now lets look at the women whose lives are centered on politics because of their spouses or parents or they themselves are in elected office.
Lastly, here are two women who have been accused of being part of the "liberal media" even though they report quite even-handedly. I won't swear that they are Democrats. I could not find any political contributions that either of them made. But if this is who they want to ascribe to us, well gee thanks. Better these women than Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter.
I came home from work today with my brains oozing from my ears. As I sit to write this, I'm trying to think of how I can even explain what I'm trying to get through to anyone who hasn't worked as a programmer. Even though I have years of experience with the specific language in use here, the way the software is built is a big part of the learning curve. I've been getting out there early and working a little late. I'm sitting in a sea of cubes with mostly older ladies - tax people. The other day at lunch, I was treated to a full discussion of menopause, hot flashes, hormones, and hand guns. Yes, I said hand guns. Whoever that poor doctor is that won't let the lady have her hormones, I hope he's got protection.
You punks hardly ever leave comments. You're gonna make me start thinking that you agree with everything I write. You don't have to be registered to leave a comment, but if you are, they show up immediately.
Today, I got a "letter" from John McCain's campaign with a bumper sticker enclosed. The letter was just way beneath what I would have expected from McCain. For instance, most of the letter attacks Barack Obama, pretty much just flat out lying about a tax increase that the vast majority of Americans have no hope of ever earning enough money to have to pay.
The other thing McCain wrote in the top half of the first page was that "[Obama will] implement a cut-and-run strategy in Iraq". Really? "Cut and run?" Is that the best you can do? That is just so 2006. And I think most Americans realize that policy with regard to just what in the hell we're trying to accomplish over there is a bit more complicated than the false dichotomy of fight or lose.
Whatever respect I had for McCain because of his past moderation and integrity with regard to earmarks is just gone now due to his extreme right-wing crazy talk.
I've got some more links and things to post for you, but I've run out of time for tonight.
Yesterday, Grbtexan contacted me about S.3335 - "The Jobs, Energy, Families, and Disaster Relief Act of 2008". I hadn't seen it yet, and when I looked for it on Thomas, I saw that it was so new that there wasn't yet a CRS Summary. If you look at the full-text listing, the thing is just huge - and normally that's a sign to be wary.
Being quite busy with a new day job, and still trying to tie up loose ends from the old one, I've only had time to skim this summary and form some initial impressions, which I'll post here. Perhaps when I get more time, I can look at it in more detail.
This bill seems to have a little bit of everything but the kitchen sink. Basically, it extends tax credits for an assortment of alternative energy sources. I'm good with that part, because these developing industries need help to reach the critical mass needed in demand so that they can reach economies of scale in production and bring down prices to make the technologies economically competitive. What I can't speak to is the quantitative aspects of the energy incentives. A good portion of the tax incentive on some of these things comes in the form of accelerated depreciation schedules.
In addition, the bill would seem to provide some AMT relief at the lower ends, and extend some of the energy credits to those that do pay AMT.
Here's where the "bigness" of the bill comes in: - Incentives for electric utilities to sell off their transmission lines? - Mine rescue team training credit? - 7-Year Recovery Period for Certain Motorsports Racetrack Property. - Special Expensing Rules for Certain Film and Television Productions. - Wool Trust Fund.
I'd love to get comments from any readers who would like to weigh in.
U.S. Rep. Ciro Rodriguez' Republican challenger for the 23rd Congressional seat is taken to task by Mike Thomas of Rhetoric & Rhythm for shirking his responsiblity on a critical hospital expansion vote before the Bexar County Commissioner's Court.
XicanoPwr reports on the latest poll by the Pew Hispanic Center on the Latino vote. Latino polling shows that 66% of Latino registered voters will support Obama.
Burnt Orange Report points out that Ag Commissioner Todd Staples finally comes around to what Democrat (and future Ag Commissioner) Hank Gilbert has been saying all along- Texan's are being overcharged at the gas pump due to lack of state inspections.
Mean Rachel writes an open letter to Rep. Elliot Naishtat, encouraging him to consider joining the technology age and starting an inexpensive, easy-to-use website tailor-made for state legislators with Wired for Change's DLCCWeb, a Netroots exhibitor.
nytexan at BlueBloggin keeps an eye on Mitch McConnell, the GOP king of distortion and extortion. McConnell plans to block legislation that can impact Americans now and push for a bill whose product will not be seen for 10 years; McConnell Extorts Senate For Off Shore Drilling. McConnell never fails to please Bush and his corporate buddies.
Though they claim ignorance of the law, the pair is politically sophisticated enough to have formed their own PAC to elect new Councilmembers in the very election they are accused of fraudulently voting in.
Records show that Teresa Rather gave $200 to the Republican Party of Texas in 2004, and voted in the Republican Primary in 2006.
Do you think our Republican District Attorney will prosecute?
The following is from a press release from the Department of Veterans Affairs - chronically underfunded by Congress, but always anxious to appear as if they're doing something:
VA Rolling Out Suicide Hotline Ads in DC Peake: First-of-Its-Kind Test for VA
WASHINGTON (July 25, 2008) - Veterans and other residents of metropolitan Washington, D.C., have begun seeing outreach information on buses and inside subway cars about the suicide prevention hotline of the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA).
The red-white-and-blue displays, the centerpiece of a new three-month outreach campaign, will highlight VA's suicide prevention hotline -- 1-800-273-TALK. If the campaign is successful in raising awareness, VA officials plan to extend the promotional campaign to other parts of the country.
"It takes the courage and strength of a warrior to ask for help," said Dr. James B. Peake, Secretary of Veterans Affairs. "That's the message of this outreach."
In D.C., 80 buses, 220 subway cars and 10 subway stations will carry the displays until mid October. VA officials will measure the effectiveness of the outreach campaign by tracking any increase in calls to its suicide prevention hotline from telephone numbers in the metro D.C. area. VA's newest outreach to veterans and their families about suicide prevention includes soon-to-be-released public service ads featuring actor Gary Sinese.
The ads are the latest outreach tool in a suicide prevention program that includes creation of a toll-free, round-the-clock hotline, which began operation last summer; the expansion of hours at VA's 153 medical facilities to care for veterans with mental health problems; the hiring of suicide prevention counselors at each VA medical center; and special training programs for all VA employees in medical centers and clinics to alert them to warning signs in veterans for suicide and other emotional problems.
Gee, I wonder why they would test-market this in the D.C. area? Could it be that it's more of a dog-and-pony show for the Congress-critters in the area to give them warm-and-fuzzies that we're doing enough? Why didn't they start this outreach in Dallas/Fort Worth or Houston, Texas?
Veterans, if you're thinking about suicide, please seek help though the V.A. or your private counselor. The hotline is a good start: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
LITTLE ELM - The Texas Ethics Commission's website has posted the latest round of campaign finance reports for candidates seeking office in the State of Texas in November. Incumbent Republican Representative Myra Crownover's report ( http://220.127.116.11/public/376627.pdf ) shows that besides a donation she made to her own campaign, she has raised $100 from one resident in District 64 between January 1, 2008 and June 30, 2008. Representative Crownover raised over $9,000 dollars from special interest PACs headquartered outside District 64 during the same reporting period.
Democratic candidate John McClelland is proud to count residents from across District 64 as donors to his campaign from January 1, 2008 through June 30, 2008 ( http://18.104.22.168/public/376622.pdf ). Mr. McClelland believes that the broad support of small donors from across District 64 will translate into both new Democratic voters and a surge of registered Democratic voters in November. "Denton County was one of the fastest growing counties in the U.S. at the end of the 20th century and has continued its nationally-ranked growth at the dawn of the 21st century. It is time for Denton County to have 21st century representation in Austin that is focused on the needs of my neighbors and the needs of all the residents of District 64 instead of leadership that is focused on the agendas of BP of North America and Chevron" said McClelland.
The sound-byte trumpeted by the Wall Street Journal, and the "drill here drill now" simpletons, is this:
The area north of the Arctic Circle has an estimated 90 billion barrels of undiscovered, technically recoverable oil, 1,670 trillion cubic feet of technically recoverable natural gas, and 44 billion barrels of technically recoverable natural gas liquids in 25 geologically defined areas thought to have potential for petroleum.
The U.S. Geological Survey assessment released today is the first publicly available petroleum resource estimate of the entire area north of the Arctic Circle.
I've been in Scottsdale, Arizona all week. I've got to say that it's been years since I've been through the Phoenix area, but I'm really impressed with the beauty of the area. The scenic vistas are lovely, the flowers are in full bloom, everything is so beautifully landscaped. Just one request: can someone please turn down the heat?
So, I just wrapped up my fourth day on my new job. My brain still hurts, but I finally did get a chance to write some code today. It is certainly a huge and complicated piece of software that uses some of the coolest methods to accomplish the management of one of the most boring subjects to me.