[3:01:34 PM] Jack1961 says: dude, I just found a million $$ bill in the parking lot, AND some lady from Africa wants to pay me $7 million to help her move some money into the country. I'm SO out of here... [3:04:08 PM] txChainsaw8 says: Man, u are so lucky. [3:04:50 PM] Jack1961 says: I must be living right! [3:05:26 PM] Jack1961 says: shit.. now I'll have to become Republican. [3:06:13 PM] txChainsaw8 says: You will also need guns. Lots of guns. [3:06:51 PM] Jack1961 says: I'll take my million dollar bill down to the gun store and get started. [3:08:13 PM] txChainsaw8 says: You will also need a Hummer to carry all your guns and money. [3:13:29 PM] Jack1961 says: I'm definitely going to skip that whole "cruising bathrooms" thing though.
My wife and I just suffered through what must have been the 493rd Republican debate. Aside from agreeing with each other that Tom Tancredo reminds us of Mr. Roper from TV's "Three's Company", we did find just a few points on which we agreed with a candidate:
Huckabee: Jesus was too smart to run for public office. Tancredo: With the deficits we have and spending out of control, we don't need to spend money on a manned mission to Mars. Hunter: You shouldn't throw shotguns. Also he wouldn't pledge to Grover Norquist not to ever raise taxes, citing the possibility of national emergency. McCain: Waterboarding is torture, it's illegal, and America should not do it. Paul: The best thing we can do for Iraq is to give them their country back. Romney: Some parts of the Bible are allegorical. Giuliani: The right to keep and bear arms is an individual right. Thompson: (referring to a CG animation of Dick Cheney) For a second there, I thought that was me.
All in all it was entertaining. I think Huckabee and McCain were the winners here, in that they came across slightly less crazy and brainwashed than the others.
If you read this website with any regularity, you probably know that I will vote for the Democratic nominee in the 2008 presidential election. That's a given.
Unlike many of my blogger colleagues, I've held off on endorsing anyone for the Democratic nomination thus far. But I just got an interesting email from Robert Novak that contradicts what I've heard up to this point: He mentions a new Zogby poll that says Hillary Clinton loses to any major Republican candidate, while John Edwards and Barack Obama each beat any Republican candidate.
As a Texan, and more importantly a former Republican who used to throw food at the television when Hillary or her husband came on, I've known from the beginning that there's just no way in hell that Hillary gets more than a smattering of support down here.
From where I sit, I think Hillary's biggest problem is her personality and demeanor. To me, I think her policies will be as corporatist as George W. Bush, and I just can't understand why any true progressive would get behind her. But that's debatable, I suppose. What would be very difficult for her to change is that she comes across as a very insincere person - a typical politician that won't say anything without polls and focus groups approving it. Frankly, if Hillary told me the sky was blue, or water is wet, I'm afraid my first instinct would be to go check. It doesn't mean she couldn't make a good president. I just haven't seen enough to give me any confidence of that. When I look for her to show a passion for something - anything - all I can determine is that she really, really wants to be president. Everything else she says is so scripted and polished that I just can't tell if she's sincere. Perhaps it's her patronizing vocal inflection that just grates on my nerves. That being said, I'd vote for her 1000 times before I'd vote for any of the Republican candidates.
The two guys who I think would make the best President and have the best chance of uniting the country and doing what's right regardless of the partisan angles: Joe Biden and Chris Dodd. That's right, the two old white guys with grey hair. Sorry, but so far they seem to show the most depth of knowledge and experience. I believe they understand the issues and have the most experience with working in the real world - not the partisan utopias that each side envisions. Both of these guys has proven experience reaching across the aisle and into the international community to get things done.
You get to know a lot about your family members when you're cooped up with them in a tiny cabin on vacation. This Thanksgiving all of the extended family traveled to Lake Whitney, TX where we all sat around eating and drinking and talking in our tiny rooms. It was mostly fun, but Hank got on my last nerve.
Let me tell you about Hank. First off, his hygiene: He has terrible halitosis and B.O. He smells like Fritos on a good day, and he always sits too close. He never changes clothes or does laundry. In fact, he doesn't do shit. He sits around on his a$# all day, and then wants to go out at night. He has no job and no responsibilities - no children. He never brings any food or drink but will always eat or drink as much as he can of whatever you have. He didn't pay for his own accommodations, so he stayed with us.
Another gross thing: He has an extremely hairy back. And he likes to lay on your bed, and whenever he does it, you get his damn back hair all over the place.
He insisted on being served his meals and didn't get up to lift a finger. It goes without saying he didn't volunteer to wash any dishes. When we asked for help, he didn't say shit. When my brother came over and hung out for a couple of hours and spent time with Hank, Hank didn't say thanks. Nope - Hank just bitched and whined when Zach left.
Hank smacks his food, dropping crumbs all over the floor and breathing heavily. He thinks nothing about picking up food that's dropped on the floor and inhaling it. He sneezes without covering his nose and mouth.
He tries to dominate everything. He wants to be the center of attention. He has no concept of time. He leaves shit outside. When he wants something, he wants it now. He barks out orders like a drill sergeant. He'll raise his voice no matter what time of the day or night, or whether people are trying to sleep. He'll walk in on you when you're trying to go to the bathroom, and won't apologize. He'll pee outside even if people are around - even if nobody's in the bathroom.
Thursday night, when I was trying to go to sleep - a deep tryptophan-induced food coma - Hank kept bugging me to go out with him. I told him no several times, so he came up and was punching me in the chest, insisting that I go out with him.
One of the worst, most embarrassing things about Hank is that he's just so damn inappropriate. He puts his hand on people's knees. I've caught him sniffing underwear. He's an unintentional exhibitionist, and he randomly gets very noticeable erections, such as when he was dancing around the room with my boys. Late at night when the lights are off and he thinks we're sleeping, you can hear him pleasuring himself, and sometimes he'll do it several times a night, even after you've asked him to knock it off.
So, as I was laying in bed, thinking about it, I said out loud to Hank: "You're an a$#h0le!" My wife just laughed her head off. "That's absurd," she said. "Why?" I asked. "How can a DOG be an A#$h0le?" she asked.
Well, he may be a good dog, and I do love him as a family member, but I think he qualifies as an a#$h01e. Some dog lovers would say "Dogs are people too!" Thank God that's not true, or Hank would be in jail.