September 10, 2011 is the day my derby cherry got popped. (That's the official terminology - not just me being crass THIS TIME.) HA!
It was a great day. My derby wife, $2 Pistol and I went to Denton to our gal, John Wayne Stacy's house around 2:30pm so we could gather as a team and get ready together. One of our girls, Loretta Luscious, was injured during a scrimmage the Wednesday before, thus making her unable to skate that night, so she became the team's unofficial makeup artist. One by one, the girls came to Stacy's place. We laughed, got our game faces on, got our game "uniforms" on, some even still had to do the lettering on their jerseys (WTF??? I mean REALLY! Can we PLEASE come just a little prepared?!!!). All the while, forcing ourselves to drink water and eat carbohydrates.
It was about 4:50pm when we all left la casa de Stacy. We had to check in by 5:30pm to be on the official game roster. We got there at 5:02pm. Talk about getting somewhere early because you're nervous. Then there's all that waiting. UGH! I hate waiting. And being around nervous people when you're waiting it's just so much worse. I'm like a sponge. I soak it up and then I'm nervous. F'ing GREAT!
Our bout was supposed to start at 6:30, I think. Shit, I don't remember. I don't know if I ever really knew, I just worried about me getting there on time.
We totally lost. But that's ok. The teams weren't matched up exactly equally. We knew that going into the bout. I know some of the girls really didn't want to look like idiots or losers in front of their families and friends. I felt bad for them only in that they cared more about what their family and friends thought than what they thought. I had a freaking blast! I hoped that my family and friends had fun too, but I wasn't there for them. I wasn't skating for their approval. They were there in support of me, not the other way around. SURE! I want to make my family proud. SURE! I want my friends to be proud of who I am and what I've accomplished and that their friend Jennifer has an alter-ego named Fluffy that skates roller derby. But it's not essential to how I viewed skating the bout.
My parents came to the bout.
Whoa. MY DAD PATTED ME ON THE BACK!!
My husband told me he was really proud of me. My eldest son, Prince Prepubescent Emotional Heir to the Throne Southwell, wouldn't quit smiling at me and told me over and over that he thought it was really cool and he thought I was really cool for doing it. That he had NO IDEA how cool roller derby was. "Wow, Mom. That was REALLY cool. I'm really glad you do this!"
The other one, the prince that has gone to practices with me, has skated with me, has been uber supportive the entire time, pulled me aside privately and admonished me. "MOM! Why didn't you hit anyone? You've got to be more aggressive. I want to see you hitting more next time."
"Yeah, OK, Coach!"
And I've been practicing that very thing - just for him. Last Monday we had "hitting clinic" in which I put my Main Street Mafia coach into the wall, and was told by several of the other trainers and coaches that my hits are solid and they're going to be bruised the next day. And I moved Manicorn out of the rink Sunday at practice. So, just FYI, if you come to the next bout, expect to see me hit and knock some bitches down. But I digress.
After our bout, the men's teams skated. The Dallas Deception (our brother league and where our male coaches come from) hosted the Phoenix Rattlesnakes. Men on skates can be sexy. Men skating derby is intensely sexy.
And then I got to go party with them.
We all had a great time at the after party. We went to a bar. We ate and drank and laughed and played skee ball and drank some more and danced and... then we went to Fuzzy's Taco Shop and ate and laughed more. Good God I was tired. It was after 2:30am when I got home. That's SO LATE for me.
But that's how it went. I got my first official bout rink rash bruise. I've got a picture and maybe I'll make it my official avatar for this blog. Then again, maybe not. I posted it on facebook. You can hunt it up if you're interested - it's about the size of an orange on my right hip.
Here's the plan
Sunday, October 30 (not sure the time yet)
There will be 2, possibly 3 bouts
Bout 1: NTDR v NTDR (North Texas Derby Revolution, my league)
Meaning, all the bouting skaters of the league will be divided into two teams, just like they did for the September bout of the Battling Mermaids v. Fighting Unicorns (yes, the BMs v. the FUs)
Bout 2: Coed Teams
You can figure that one out.
Possible Bout 3: NTDR All-Stars (not me) v. All-Stars from a neighboring league
You can dress for Halloween and bring your children. We'll have a Trunk or Treat, or is it Trick - you're in the Trunk if you're bad, Treat if you're good? Whatever, we'll have candy!
I'll keep y'all posted as I get more info.
The adventure continues...