Recent News and Opinion
2014/9/21 - Where's My iPony?
2014/9/21 - Sunday Morning Update - Western Week Edition
2014/9/20 - FBI Seeks Public Help Identifying Bank Robber
2014/9/15 - Monday Morning Update - September 15th
2014/9/12 - Symphony Opens Season with Russian Pianist
2014/9/10 - Chief's Weekly Update: Police Investigate on Bank Robbery
2014/9/8 - Lewisville To Spray Again for Mosquitoes Monday and Tuesday Nights
2014/9/8 - LISD Board to Discuss Bus Cameras, Hear LHS Campus Info, and Appro...
2014/9/8 - Home Invasion Robbery in Castle Hills
2014/9/6 - Sheriff's Deputy Godi Receives Star of Texas Award
2014/9/6 - Youth Orchestra to Make Its Home at MCL Grand in Lewisville
2014/9/5 - Visualizing the Lewisville City Budget
2014/9/3 - Letters: Problem with STAAR is Ownership
2014/8/31 - Sunday Evening Update - Labor Day Edition
2014/8/30 - Football Scores - Friday, August 29th 2014
2014/8/29 - Letters: Legal Defense Fund Established for Freed
2014/8/29 - Content Removed
2014/8/26 - Burger King Inversion Update
2014/8/25 - Officers Receive Life Saving Awards
2014/8/24 - Lewisville To Spray Again for Mosquitoes Monday and Tuesday Nights
2014/8/23 - Motorists Reminded to Be Careful as Kids Head Back-to-School
2014/8/20 - Neighborhood Gets Help from LISD and Police on Litter, Crime Problem
2014/8/20 - Letters: Freed Should Be Considered Innocent
2014/8/17 - Sunday Evening Update - End of Summer Vacation Edition
2014/8/17 - Pictures of Local High Water
Recent Reader Comments
2014/9/21 16:21 - Re: Monday Morning Update - September 15th (fvaughan)
2014/9/21 11:41 - Re: Monday Morning Update - September 15th (WhosPlayin)
2014/9/21 4:13 - Re: Monday Morning Update - September 15th (RNeil)
2014/9/17 18:53 - Re: Monday Morning Update - September 15th (WhosPlayin)
2014/9/17 0:08 - Re: Monday Morning Update - September 15th (Anonymous)
2014/9/16 23:28 - Re: Monday Morning Update - September 15th (RNeil)
2014/9/10 23:24 - Re: LISD Board to Discuss Bus Cameras, Hear LHS Campus In... (Anonymous)
2014/9/10 20:02 - Re: Letters: Problem with STAAR is Ownership (Anonymous)
2014/9/10 14:55 - Re: Letters: Problem with STAAR is Ownership (Anonymous)
2014/9/9 23:41 - Re: LISD Board to Discuss Bus Cameras, Hear LHS Campus In... (Anonymous)
2014/9/9 23:40 - Re: LISD Board to Discuss Bus Cameras, Hear LHS Campus In... (Anonymous)
2014/9/9 20:24 - Re: LISD Board to Discuss Bus Cameras, Hear LHS Campus In... (Anonymous)
2014/9/9 18:24 - Re: LISD Board to Discuss Bus Cameras, Hear LHS Campus In... (Anonymous)
2014/9/9 15:10 - Re: Letters: Problem with STAAR is Ownership (Anonymous)
2014/9/9 8:13 - Re: LISD Board to Discuss Bus Cameras, Hear LHS Campus In... (WhosPlayin)
2014/9/8 22:52 - Re: LISD Board to Discuss Bus Cameras, Hear LHS Campus In... (Anonymous)
2014/9/8 21:56 - Re: Updated: Mother Found Shot Dead in Her Lewisville Hom... (WhosPlayin)
2014/9/8 17:45 - Re: Updated: Mother Found Shot Dead in Her Lewisville Hom... (Anonymous)
2014/9/8 15:52 - Re: Letters: Legal Defense Fund Established for Freed (WhosPlayin)
2014/9/7 9:58 - Re: Letters: Legal Defense Fund Established for Freed (Anonymous)
2014/9/5 11:58 - Re: Visualizing the Lewisville City Budget (jbcglc)
2014/9/4 21:26 - Re: Red Light Cameras on Hold in Lewisville (Anonymous)

Ten Females Who Cost Mitt Romney the Presidency

Raging Moderate
Posted by LewisvilleTexan on 2012/11/10 11:35:01 (738 reads)

Open in new windowOpen in new windowWill Durst - Raging Moderate

Holey moley catfish. Well, thank god that's finally over. Further thanks that the climax was quick and clean. Almost surgical. Not as long a night as many first thought it might be. Except for Karl Rove that is, who for all we know is still scribbling numbers to prove the call on Clinton's re-election win in 1996 was premature. And as usual, Florida did all it could to gum things up, but was eventually rendered irrelevant. And long may it remain so.

In the end, President Barack Obama trounced, er, battered, um, eked-out a victory -- or to be more precise, Mitt Romney lost. Or shall we say, found a thousand ways to lose. Except for one brief, shining moment in the first debate, virtually carrying with him a defeat diviner.

And each and every one of his failures can be traced directly to females. The distaff of life. Single women. Married women. Old women. Young women. Ladies and divas and flappers and baby mamas; duchesses, priestesses, shorties and floozies. So here they are, the top ten females who cost Mitt Romney the presidency, each of them representing one of the myriad factors that helped construct the unelectable mosaic that became Bain's Captain of Industry:

Michele Bachmann. Mitt had to draft on her right wing to win the primary battle, and when he tried to tack back to the center appeared not to be the Washington Outsider he claimed, but a typical politician with the core values of a hollowed-out chocolate Easter Bunny. With really good hair.

Newly elected U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren from Massachusetts. A state the former governor lost by 23 points. Proof positive the man arouses the enduring passion of a broken garden rake.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who took foreign policy off the table, making the entire election about the economy which kept getting better, gol darn it. And who can forget her husband. He certainly won't let us.

Sandra Fluke, who gave a face to the GOP's Paleolithic Bronze Age attitudes towards women, further exacerbated by the fact that no man in the party could seemingly shut up about it.

Michelle Obama, who is just darn likable. As is her husband. A stark contrast to Romney's cyborg demeanor and obvious discomfort around members of the human species.

Superstorm Sandy, for providing the opportunity for the president to look presidential and for Obama and Chris Christie to French kiss on Atlantic City's Boardwalk ,crystalizing the concept that bipartisanship is not the saddest word. That's "goodbye."

Ann Romney, who would have made a simply terrific first lady. For Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Candy Crowley, who single-handedly halted Romney's momentum in the second debate by speaking way above her pay grade. Don't you hate it when the help speaks out of turn?

All the Wal-Mart Moms, who never really understood that whole Cayman Islands bank account thing marking him not as the poster child for the 1 percent, but as the poster child for the .0001 percent of the 1 percent.

And the last female responsible for Romney's loss; Rafalca the 15-year old mare who, while wearing the Romney silks in Olympic Dressage, failed to make the medal round and was probably shipped home strapped to the fuselage of a 747. Seriously, Mitt. Dressage?



The New York Times says Emmy-nominated comedian and writer Will Durst "is quite possibly the best political satirist working in the country today." Check out the website: Redroom.com to buy his book or find out more about upcoming stand-up performances. Or willdurst.com.

E-mail Will at durst@caglecartoons.com.


Copyright ©2012, Will Durst - willdurst.com - Licensed to Lewisville Texan Journal

- Rating: 10.00 (1 vote) - {$lang_ratethisnews}
 
The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.


Other articles
2014/9/21 22:50:22 - Where's My iPony?
2014/9/21 11:20:00 - Sunday Morning Update - Western Week Edition
2014/9/20 10:46:29 - FBI Seeks Public Help Identifying Bank Robber
2014/9/15 7:51:54 - Monday Morning Update - September 15th
2014/9/12 7:40:44 - Symphony Opens Season with Russian Pianist
2014/9/10 7:07:22 - Chief's Weekly Update: Police Investigate on Bank Robbery
2014/9/8 8:06:51 - Lewisville To Spray Again for Mosquitoes Monday and Tuesday Nights
2014/9/8 7:38:23 - LISD Board to Discuss Bus Cameras, Hear LHS Campus Info, and Approve Bonds
2014/9/8 7:09:14 - Home Invasion Robbery in Castle Hills
2014/9/6 10:00:49 - Sheriff's Deputy Godi Receives Star of Texas Award


The Lewisville Texan Journal is a service of SagePost, Inc.
Login to Comment
User:
Pass:
Remember me
Lost your password?
Create New Account