Early Voting Under Way
Open in new window
Early voting is under way for Lewisville City Council, Mayor, and School Board positions. More information...
Recent News and Opinion
2015/5/3 - Homeowners Receive Property Tax Appraisal Notices
2015/5/1 - Upcoming Closures for the 35Express Project
2015/5/1 - Keep Tradition Alive Jam Session set for May 8
2015/4/30 - Upcoming Events Around Lewisville and the Surrounding Area
2015/4/30 - Breaking News: Flower Mound Cares Facebook Group Down
2015/4/29 - Local Election Turnout Sparse
2015/4/29 - Lewisville High School Names Skeldon New Girls Basketball Head Coach
2015/4/29 - Nightly I-35E Lane Closures in Lewisville near Fox Avenue
2015/4/29 - LHS Alumnus Wins Prestigious Award for Economics
2015/4/28 - Tuesday Morning Briefs
2015/4/27 - LISD Board Taps Rogers for Superintendent Post
2015/4/26 - Website Upgraded
2015/4/26 - Early Voting Starts Monday in 2015 Municipal Elections
2015/4/24 - Lake and Drought Update - April 24th, 2015
2015/4/23 - Candidates Discuss Issues at Castle Hills Forum
2015/4/23 - Keep Lewisville Beautiful Spring Cleanup Set for April 25th, 2015
2015/4/22 - Wednesday Briefs
2015/4/22 - Hazardous Weather Expected Today
2015/4/21 - Synchronized swimming event April 25-26
2015/4/20 - Lewisville Officer Receives Medal of Valor Award
2015/4/20 - Chalk This Way Festival Set for May 9th in Old Town
2015/4/20 - Monday Morning Briefs - Council Meeting, LLELA, Ghosts, Jams, Prom...
2015/4/19 - Lewisville PD Teams Up with US Army for Recruiting Event
2015/4/17 - Relay For Life at LHS Harmon Campus on May 15th
2015/4/17 - Family Protests Lack of Police Action in Assault of Teen Daughter
Recent Reader Comments
2015/5/4 11:36 - Low Turnout (WhosPlayin)
2015/5/4 11:35 - Re: Local Election Turnout Sparse (WhosPlayin)
2015/5/4 10:23 - Re: Local Election Turnout Sparse (Anonymous)
2015/5/2 18:56 - Re: Candidates Discuss Issues at Castle Hills Forum (jbcglc)
2015/5/1 20:45 - Re: Breaking News: Flower Mound Cares Facebook Group Down (Anonymous)
2015/5/1 17:46 - Re: Breaking News: Flower Mound Cares Facebook Group Down (Anonymous)
2015/5/1 13:51 - Re: Candidates Discuss Issues at Castle Hills Forum (RNeil)
2015/5/1 9:43 - Re: Local Election Turnout Sparse (Update) (Runfellow)
2015/4/30 21:19 - Re: Breaking News: Flower Mound Cares Facebook Group Down (Anonymous)
2015/4/30 8:12 - Re: Local Election Turnout Sparse (Anonymous)
2015/4/27 11:18 - Re: Candidates Discuss Issues at Castle Hills Forum (Anonymous)
2015/4/26 16:52 - Re: Candidates Discuss Issues at Castle Hills Forum (RNeil)
2015/4/26 6:23 - Re: Lake and Drought Update - April 24th, 2015 (cttx)
2015/4/24 18:42 - Re: Lake and Drought Update - April 24th, 2015 (Jonathan)
2015/4/24 16:55 - Re: Candidates Discuss Issues at Castle Hills Forum (Anonymous)
2015/4/24 13:51 - Re: Candidates Discuss Issues at Castle Hills Forum (RNeil)
2015/4/24 11:31 - Re: Candidates Discuss Issues at Castle Hills Forum (Anonymous)
2015/4/24 11:12 - Re: Candidates Discuss Issues at Castle Hills Forum (PKelly)
2015/4/24 10:20 - Re: Candidates Discuss Issues at Castle Hills Forum (JFinCH)
2015/4/24 9:28 - Re: Letters: LISD Board Candidate Smith Exposed (Anonymous)
2015/4/23 0:55 - Re: Letters: LISD Board Candidate Smith Exposed (Anonymous)
2015/4/23 0:50 - Re: Group Distributes Partisan Questionnaire to Local Can... (Anonymous)

Thanksgiving Blessings 2012

Raging Moderate
Posted by LewisvilleTexan on 2012/11/17 8:00:00 (912 reads)

Open in new windowOpen in new windowWill Durst - Raging Moderate

Seriously? Both political parties talking pre-emptive smack barely a week after the election. Partisan politics? Again? So soon? Not even time to catch our breath? For crum's sakes, give it a rest, you guys. Besides, shouldn't you be out on recess? After all, it's Thanksgiving. Yes. Already. The earliest Thanksgiving possible. That's what happens when November first is on a Thursday. Merchants are dancing the happy dance. Shoppers too. Retail workers, not so much. Black Friday Creep seems destined to devour Halloween.

To be perfectly honest, a four-day weekend devoted to food, family and football might be the perfect prescription distraction to help us through these rebuking times. So here's a couple rough examples of what a middle-aged, round-headed political comic counts as blessings over folded hands before performing a perfectly executed triple somersault into the gravy boat.

Barack Obama: Second-term promises much bigger knock-down, drag-out fights with the Republican House. Not to mention the Democratic Senate.

General David Petraeus: Who knew generals had groupies? Proves old high school adage: chicks dig stars. The larger the fruit salad, the more noxious the flies.

Karl Rove: Continues to lobby for a recount of the Florida and Ohio votes. From 2008.

The Newly Elected Congress: If you liked the 112th Congress, you're going to love the 113th Congress. Gridlock grown tentacles.

Bill Clinton: As Secretary of 'Splaining Stuff, he kicked Obama's ball over goal line. Can't wait to see what his touchdown celebration looks like. Probably a waltz with Hillary down the 2016 campaign trail.

Dick Cheney: Still feisty even after recovering from a heart transplant. Really, transplant? Mightn't "installation" be more apt?

State of Florida: 12 years later, and they still can't count. Time to circumcise America. Cut Florida off and kick it into the Caribbean. Rename it North Cuba.

State of Texas: Threatening to secede again. But not seriously enough. Don't think their heart is really into it.

Mitt Romney: Good news is he won't have to 'splain to the whole family why they're moving into a smaller house.

Chris Christie: Love him or hate him, he's not going away and is much too big to fail.

Donald Trump: The man just cannot shut the hell up. He's the gift that keeps on giving. Should team up with Sarah Palin in a double act and take it on the road.

Paul Ryan: Reins of the GOP are his if he can hold onto them. Has a lean and hungry look. Bobby Jindal would be wise to beware the Ides of March.

The Climate: Don't know if anybody's noticed, but it ain't getting more placid out there.

Joe Biden: Less of a loose cannon and more of a loose aircraft carrier.

Michele Bachmann: Because every comedian needs a good right-wing nut job every now and then.

The Justin Bieber-Selena Gomez breakup: It's not over. Oh, you may think it's over, but it's not over.

And finally, The Fiscal Cliff: And our nation turns its lonely eyes to those fabled Fiscal Cliff Divers, the Tea Party. All right everybody, who's jumping first?

Thanks to everyone for all your hard work throughout the year for the likes of political animals such as I. And good health to us all.



The New York Times says Emmy-nominated comedian and writer Will Durst "is quite possibly the best political satirist working in the country today." Check out the website: Redroom.com to buy his book or find out more about upcoming stand-up performances. Or willdurst.com.

E-mail Will at durst@caglecartoons.com.


Copyright ©2012, Will Durst - willdurst.com - Licensed to Lewisville Texan Journal

- Rating: 0.00 (0 votes) - {$lang_ratethisnews}
 
The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.


Other articles
2015/5/3 10:00:00 - Homeowners Receive Property Tax Appraisal Notices
2015/5/1 18:00:00 - Upcoming Closures for the 35Express Project
2015/5/1 7:00:00 - Keep Tradition Alive Jam Session set for May 8
2015/4/30 22:30:00 - Upcoming Events Around Lewisville and the Surrounding Area
2015/4/30 17:50:00 - Breaking News: Flower Mound Cares Facebook Group Down
2015/4/29 23:00:00 - Local Election Turnout Sparse
2015/4/29 21:31:09 - Lewisville High School Names Skeldon New Girls Basketball Head Coach
2015/4/29 21:30:00 - Nightly I-35E Lane Closures in Lewisville near Fox Avenue
2015/4/29 19:30:00 - LHS Alumnus Wins Prestigious Award for Economics
2015/4/28 7:50:00 - Tuesday Morning Briefs


The Lewisville Texan Journal is a service of SagePost, Inc.
Login to Comment
User:
Pass:
Remember me
Lost your password?
Create New Account