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Recent News and Opinion
2014/10/29 - Lewisville Police Shooting Team Takes Top Honors at Tactical Compe...
2014/10/28 - DCTA, NCTCOG Funding Lewisville Hike-Bike Trails
2014/10/28 - Lewisville Police Offer Free Medication Disposal Year-Round
2014/10/26 - Upcoming Events Around Lewisville and the Surrounding Area
2014/10/26 - Bogard Lane Closed at I-35 For the Rest of the Year
2014/10/26 - Community Meeting Scheduled for I-35 Project Status Update
2014/10/26 - A Story About Molly
2014/10/26 - Teen Driver Accidentally Kills 12 Year Old
2014/10/25 - Denton County Celebrates Groundbreaking of Government Center
2014/10/24 - Affidavit Sheds Light on Shooting Details, Shooter's Gang Aff...
2014/10/23 - Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday's Shooting
2014/10/22 - Updated: Lewisville Police Respond to Shooting at Round Grove and ...
2014/10/21 - KLB to Host Trinity Trash Bash Waterway Cleanup and Recycling Even...
2014/10/20 - Texas DSHS reports Texans Cleared from Ebola Monitoring
2014/10/19 - Sunday Night Update
2014/10/18 - Updated: Lewisville Loses Appeal on Sex Offender Ordinance
2014/10/18 - Early Voting Starts Monday for November 4th, 2014 Election
2014/10/17 - Updated: Lewisville Police Seek Help Finding Serial Attacker
2014/10/17 - Parents on Edge After Newspaper Misreports LISD Ebola Letter
2014/10/16 - So much news, so little time...
2014/10/15 - Crime Updates from Lewisville Police Department
2014/10/4 - Saturday Morning Update - Yom Kippur Edition
2014/9/30 - Ebola Case Confirmed in Texas Patient
2014/9/29 - Crime and Accident Updates from Lewisville and Flower Mound
2014/9/27 - Shooting Victim Dies from Injury
Recent Reader Comments
2014/10/30 11:43 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday (Anonymous)
2014/10/30 10:06 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday (Anonymous)
2014/10/29 23:17 - Last one (WhosPlayin)
2014/10/29 23:03 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday... (Anonymous)
2014/10/29 22:52 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday... (Anonymous)
2014/10/29 22:33 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday... (Anonymous)
2014/10/29 12:59 - Collecting more than expected (WhosPlayin)
2014/10/28 19:03 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday... (TexasMama)
2014/10/28 11:39 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday (WhosPlayin)
2014/10/28 11:34 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday (Anonymous)
2014/10/27 11:40 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday... (Anonymous)
2014/10/26 23:48 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday... (Anonymous)
2014/10/26 0:33 - Re: Teen Driver Accidentally Kills 12 Year Old (JFinCH)
2014/10/25 12:01 - Re: Denton County Celebrates Groundbreaking of Government... (WhosPlayin)
2014/10/25 10:49 - Re: Denton County Celebrates Groundbreaking of Government... (Anonymous)
2014/10/25 8:55 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday... (WhosPlayin)
2014/10/24 20:19 - Re: Lewisville Police Arrest Gang Member in Wednesday... (Anonymous)
2014/10/24 18:52 - Re: Updated: Lewisville Loses Appeal on Sex Offender Ordi... (Anonymous)
2014/10/24 9:17 - Re: Updated: Lewisville Police Respond to Shooting at Rou... (Anonymous)
2014/10/24 5:59 - Re: Sunday Night Update (WhosPlayin)
2014/10/23 5:52 - Re: Updated: Lewisville Police Respond to Shooting at Rou... (Anonymous)
2014/10/22 19:21 - Re: Updated: Lewisville Police Respond to Shooting at Rou... (Anonymous)

More Layoffs Today at WhosPlayin

Links, Thoughts, and Open Thread
Posted by WhosPlayin on 2009/1/28 10:40:00 (2969 reads)

Effective immediately, WhosPlayin Communications, Inc. announces layoffs of 46,000 employees from our local blogging division. This cost-cutting move is expected to save the company up to $42.38 a year. Employees, who were waiting on a weather cancellation notice this morning, were notified via robocall not to show up for work. The company followed the robocall with an email, which is excerpted below:

Dear Former Employees:
We just wanted to take this opportunity to send you bloodsucking parasites one final "fuck you" while your free email accounts still work. When I asked you ungrateful bastards to help me polish up the corporate jet, many of you bitched and moaned about not having enough "family time". When we moved our corporate headquarters to the Cayman Islands, we offered you incompetent boobs free round-trip airfare to anyone willing to smuggle large bundles of cash in their carry-on luggage.

We would talk about how much we regret the layoffs, but frankly, we can outsource your jobs to India and save enough money to buy a new corporate yacht AND pay for our "Read Local Bloggers" marketing blitz.

In closing, smell ya later, bitches. We'll be posting a form letter-of-recommendation later, that you can download and fill out for yourself, if you think it will do you any good. TTYN. Signed Dick S. Over, President


Mr. Over could not be reached for comment because... well, we just didn't give a crap. Suckit, Over.



Keywords:
- Satire

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Other articles
2014/10/29 21:10:00 - Lewisville Police Shooting Team Takes Top Honors at Tactical Competition
2014/10/28 20:40:00 - DCTA, NCTCOG Funding Lewisville Hike-Bike Trails
2014/10/28 18:40:00 - Lewisville Police Offer Free Medication Disposal Year-Round
2014/10/26 22:10:00 - Upcoming Events Around Lewisville and the Surrounding Area
2014/10/26 21:40:00 - Bogard Lane Closed at I-35 For the Rest of the Year
2014/10/26 21:40:00 - Community Meeting Scheduled for I-35 Project Status Update
2014/10/26 19:25:29 - A Story About Molly
2014/10/26 0:05:33 - Teen Driver Accidentally Kills 12 Year Old
2014/10/25 9:50:00 - Denton County Celebrates Groundbreaking of Government Center
2014/10/24 22:30:00 - Affidavit Sheds Light on Shooting Details, Shooter's Gang Affiliation


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